(Source: encourage)

bunsen:

i don’t think there’s anything worse than not being able to finish your lap in mario kart because ur in last place what kind of discrimination is that 

mcdonaldsstaff:

people who scream when they see their friends at school

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Anonymous inquired:
One time i gave this guy a blow job. And he had like a goood dick. But his cum tasted so nasty idk if he had asperagus or something but yeah he came in my mouth and said "swallow" so i was trying to be a diva and swallow that shit but ended up having the craziest gag reflex and threw up all over him. We went to Ihop afterwards tho, then he bought me some new shoes from Kmart. :)

xerneas:

nicevagina:

When you’re masturbating in your room and about to cum, then someone knocks on your door. 

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thedauntlesschild:

the-helpful-frog:

we need an emergency fake dash in case any of our relatives suddenly demand to see what we do on tumblr

like you log in with the password “parent alert” and it takes you to a dash that’s just the wisdom of confucius and new yorkers dissing olive garden

we should have that

Done.
Email: allfandomsmatter@gmail.com
Password: parentalert
Username: helpsomeonescoming
Use it well. Lets blast it so everyone can use it. Good luck.

(Source: spoopy-bloghaver)

mydogsnokes:

emotionally horny 

superwhohannilockpotter:

I will never not reblog this gif set whenever it comes across my dash.

(Source: seawolph)

shrek one: BEST
shrek two: the funniest movie i have ever seen. literally one of the funniest comedies of all time. incredible pacing and dialogue. reference jokes that were actually funny. surreal world that was so modern fantasy it actually worked. rocking score. awesome scene set to "i need a hero" being sung by the villain unironically and completely played straight. a bar of villains. just overall the best concepts ever.
shrek three: bad
shrek four: bad

the-uncalm-nipples:

nodaybuttodaytodefygravity:

nateriot:

Obama on gay adoption 

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yeah totally ruining this country what a horrible guy

Fun fact: Obama has attempted to fix almost everything that he promised to fix, but the republicans have voted almost all of his bills out of congress. He’s not the problem.

(Source: holymaurymotherofgod)

grawly:

hologran:

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STOP

(Source: fasterfood)

imsoshive:

When ya grandma don’t put any money in ya birthday card

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nasturbate:

this picture started a revolution